Tonight I:
Didn't use my S-Bahn (train) card and got stopped by German police, (they got a kick out of the fact I was using my Scuba license as identification- not so happy about not paying for my ride), and I got a fine. 
Went on a date with a German guy I had met in Barcelona, turns out he is a writer for German Playboy. We went to a beer garden and then scaled a park wall to see the city lights. He invited me back to his garage to see his Lotus ("like in Pretty Woman"), seriously tempting for the Instagram "corners like she's on rails" caption alone, but no.
Got seriously lost riding the train back, ended up in the Berlin suburbs, and by the time I realized it the train was closed.
Had to walk to civilization, found a hotel who called me a taxi, and rode in a brand new Mercedes towncar back to my hostel.

pretty typical Wednesday.